The Layoff Beard

TV ▪ And Now For A VMA Rant

By Matt Sussman | Monday, September 14th, 2009

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Honestly, Kanye West, I’m really happy for you and your ability to wedge yourself into other people’s situations, but I’m going to steal your thunder, because you want this story to be about you.

I haven’t seen all the music videos for the Video Music Awards’ nomination for Best Female Video, just the six snippets they pancaked together before announcing the winner. There were six relatively different setups (a wedding, a car, Bob Ross’s empty gray canvas), but the music? Sweet merciful repetition, if you would’ve told me that was all the same song, I’d have believed you. But, of course, this is not music. These are music videos, where the purpose and intent is to, I guess, try and make your head explode by trying to figure out what the hell is going on in the first place. If you can accomplish that, then you are a shoe-in to win a VMA Award and use your PIN number to withdraw money from an ATM machine.

Now to rag on Taylor Swift… somewhat. She said she had always dreamed of winning that award. Not a Grammy, but a VMA. Any award which is created by a TV station really doesn’t have much bearing. Athletes don’t dream about winning an ESPY. The home run record? The world’s fastest man? Most hot dogs in 12 minutes? Sure. But the ESPY is a throw-in. And pop performers’ dreams are probably similar. They want platinum records. They want to not become cokewhores by age 22. These are respectable dreams. To put your hopes and dreams into winning “Best Music Video,” a creation which was largely the work of a studio, a director, and a room full of marketers, is probably not what little girls hope to win someday.