Extended Thought ▪ She’s Blonde, And Interesting!
By Matt Sussman | Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
Leave it to my girlfriend to somehow take a Playboy model and have me completely disinterested.
I don’t know how she does it, but girls, here’s some advice if your boyfriends have an unhealthy fixation on attractive celebrities: learn about them. Read and watch everything about them. Try to discuss minutiae of their lives with your beau. This will probably result in the guy being turned off about the girl.
I didn’t even really care about Kendra Wilkinson, and for a while, Brit would keep refreshing my memory as “that girl dating that one football player.” (Because Hank Baskett, is, like, a legendary wide receiver or something.)
But some people somewhere thought she would be perfect for a planned premise television show. It’s called Kendra (great name!), and it delves into how she’s adjusting to being on her own. I mean, all of us have, at some point in our lives, learned to live on our own, but none of us have had to overcome the obstacle of living in a large house with giant boobs.
They say that everyone kinda sorta secretly watches reality TV, whether I like to admit it or not. And the truth is … well, yeah, I watch it. But she watches it, and I’m in the room as well. I could leave the room entirely in protest, but I’m just not that big of a douche. (Just enough to pass as an insufferable blogger.) So I catch snippets of the show while hiding behind my laptop. That oughta be enough to validate the following rhetorical question: why?
She’s blonde and pretty and has a modicum of charisma. She has a supportive family and a big house and is married to an athlete and gets to call Hugh Hefner on occasion à la Suzanne Somers on Three’s Company. It’s just … filler show. You know that E! can’t show eight hours of The Soup in a row, so they need something else.
If the show gets cancelled, no big deal. There’ll be some other pretty person with a reasonably interesting life that can be captured on camera with WACKY UNPREDICTABLE PREMISES! Oh no, a long lost cousin showed up for dinner with a TV producer! And I left my makeup kit in the cabana!
[commercial break]
Oh, everything turned out all right, albeit uneventful. Happy ending!
Hank Baskett is one of the best wide receivers to ever come out of the University of New Mexico. He’s like the Jerry Rice of New Mexico.