Extended Thought ▪ Monopoly Deal Is A Gateway Drug
By Matt Sussman | Tuesday, June 30th, 2009
When Parker Brothers came out with the iconic Monopoly game, little did they know — OR DID THEY? — that the game would have a profound impact on Sussman men, as the thrill of collecting properties, wheeling, dealing, and stealing is almost as blissful as illegal drugs. Once the rush became too much, the board game had to be sealed away in a safe location where nobody would find it: somewhere in the attic.
The competitiveness has also leaked over into a travel-size version of Monopoly, with all of the fun and none of the math. Monopoly Deal is the real estate game everyone loves (…?) in card form.
Maybe that’s all we needed. Perhaps the board game was simply too intense, and a card version of the classic game will alleviate everyone’s temper, soothe the soul, and bring world peace from Baltic To Boardwalk.
Ha. Nope.
The four major issues with playing the game are:
1. I win too much. Early on, I would beat my girlfriend (at the game! at the game!) and she would want to play again. I was getting fed up with the winning streak, and want to, y’know, get back to blogging. But it was always “just one more game.”
2. Unwritten rules. Once you know the game and get your head around the cards and the rules, it’s a breeze to play. You can probably finish a game in 5-10 minutes, which is about how long it takes to set up the board. But the delay lies within extenuating situations. Can you use buildings on a monopoly to pay rent? Can you move buildings onto other monopolies? It doesn’t mention that in the manual, You raging whore!
3. I lose too much. Genghis Khan once said, “It is not sufficient that I succeed — all others must fail.” That’s basically the greatest feeling in the world in this game, to wipe everyone else out of their properties and money and be left with everything. (EVERYTHING.) But to lose a game? Well, that just sucks. Earlier today I lost two games in a row, as a result of bad hands, and I actually threw my cards down before I was about to lose and forfeited. This is a first in Monopoly Deal history, but it’s not unprecedented in the Sussman tribe to concede in glorious fashion.
4. The light blue-railroad wild property is 4M. Seriously. What’s the deal with that? It should be 2M.
It’s actually against Monopoly rules to finish a game of Monopoly.
Don’t forget the “nuclear option”…. If it looks like you have no chance of winning, randomly pick a player (other than the leader), and sell ‘em ALL of your stuff for a dollar. Then sit back & enjoy!