Goldblum, PI ▪ Homicide Investigating Just Got Really Confusing
By Matt Sussman | Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
Here’s what makes Law & Order so tremendous. As opposed so many other shows in which you need to watch every single week in order to stay abreast of what the hell any of the actors are talking about, L&O trims down on things like plot and character emotion so that you can watch any one episode and (sort of) understand it.
That all changed, of course, when Jeff Goldblum stepped in as the detective on Law & Order: Criminal Intent. He’ll join a cast that includes Vincent D’Onofrio, which leads me to believe Goldblum is using this gig as a ploy to start investigating D’Onofrio, something he’s always wanted to do ever since he saw him in Men In Black and remains convinced he’s an alien bug wearing human skin.
In the meantime, Goldblum portrays Detective Zack Nichols, one of the most vanilla names you can hand to a guy like that. In his first ever scene on the show, he arrived onto the murder scene carrying groceries and eating bagels and lox. You see, it was crucial to solving the crime. It’s just that nobody knew it yet.
Why was it important? Because it had nothing to do with the crime itself. By using this decoy on the show, it caused the detectives and audience to stand up and scream “WTF?” while Det. Nichols got down to business solving the murder.
It’ll happen at some point, I can feel it. Goldblum will be sure that the key to solving a murder case will be to upload a computer virus into a robotic dinosaur. That’d cause any at-large suspect to turn himself in just to stop him from trying to re-animate a pterodactyl before infecting his MacBook with Conflicker.
You really do need a job, Matt. The next thing you know, she’ll have you understanding and blogging about Grey’s. *gasp!* The horror!
I think McDonald’s is hiring. I told Adam that if he applied there and didn’t get hired I would personally repay him $5 and one milkshake for his time. That could help pay off your calculator debt for sure.
He does already understand Grey’s. Don’t let him fool you.